Effective Interrogation Techniques

This is a special emergency broadcast alert and a dire warning to all men -- beware of the chick car!

I took on the monumental task of helping my parents move sofas, furniture and other miscellaneous household items from house to house... To house... To house. Instead of riding in the truck, I got stuck driving the chick car.

What, you may be asking, is the chick car? Well, let me tell you.

The chick car is the car relegated to transporting wives, mothers, sisters, girlfriends (for those that are not married) and other persons that, basically, are not male. The car I drove should not have been a chick car for the simple fact that I was in it. However, once a vehicle has been dubbed "the chick car," there's no changing it. Trust me, I tried.

And what goes on on the chick car? Talking. Chit-chat. Q&A time. Non-stop, until the vehicle reaches its intended destination.

As the driver, my job was to focus on the road ahead and get us safely to the next house. I strained and concentrated on driving as questions and comments were hurled, flying like super bouncy balls ricocheting off the insides of the car.

At some point, I made the monumental error of invoking the "bro code," announced such and shut up. The car went deathly quiet as my sister and mother stared at me, sizing me up.

"The chick car overrides the 'bro code,' as you call it," my sister said eerily.

"Start talking, bucko, or the consequences will be dire," my mother said from the back seat.

I swallowed hard. I nearly wet myself. I also nearly ran off the road! You could have cut the tension with a knife!

The government really should look into this. I've heard waterboarding is an effective interrogation technique. The chick car, while also inhumane, may be a bit more effective.