Micro-Cut: the New Diet Plan

I'm always looking for the newest, latest and greatest diet plan not only to maintain my weight, but to help shed the last few (dozen) pounds. Still trying to hit that goal weight!

To date I've scrapped conventional diet plans like Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers, Keto-whatever, SlimFast and the like. All perfectly fine for some, but I'm busy working on my own amazing new diet program. It's called, simply, Micro-Cut: the New Diet Plan.

I'm hard at work hammering out the details of what's certain to be the next big hit in dieting! Maybe I'll take my idea to Shark Tank. Or, perhaps, I'll bypass those silly number crunchers and take it straight to the public! Why share my millions with those guys?

The premise behind Micro-Cut is simple. The smaller the serving, the fewer calories. So simple it's practically genius!

Allow me to give you an example with a simple cake. A normal slice of that freshly made death by ultimate chocolate decadence cake would be approximately 2,374 calories. I don't know about you, but I would have to run two back to back marathons (Usain Bolt style) to work those calories off!

However, with Micro-Cut, you only get a fraction of the calories of that same slice! All you need is an incredibly sharp knife in order to slice that razor thin piece known as the Micro-Cut. The best part is that you can have THREE Micro-Cut slices and retain that amazing figure.

I can hear my scientifically-based doubters loud and clear -- if three Micro-Cuts equals one regular slice, then the calories still add up to the original number!

However, if you take the length of the Micro-Cut, juxtapose it with the width, then divide it by the square root of Pi, round that to the nearest hundredth, then add that to the ounces of healthy sugar in the frosting on the actual cut and subtract that number from the number of Micro-Cuts taken, then divide the entire cake calories... Well, it's practically zero!

As you can see, it's a win-win situation.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a new dessert to make! Au revoir!