fuzzy, black dogs

fuzzy, black dogs
All three of my fuzzy, black dogs -- Bob, Ace and Lilly.

Phillip's Scenic Overlook

Saturday, June 28, 2014

The Significance of Breakfast Bowls

Of all the things people have to worry about these days, you would think breakfast bowls would not be that important. But when breakfast bowls break, their significance rises proportionately with the decreasing number.

My son is going through a phase where he breaks things. I know. When I was 16, I broke a few things myself. All sorts of things. Cereal bowls were not excluded.

My wife and I used to have 12 bowls that looked exactly the same. We're down to five, maybe six bowls, including the chipped one we use to feed Lilly, the littlest of the fuzzy, black dogs.

We store the bowls in three somewhat even, symmetrical stacks in the open cabinet above the stove. Twelve bowls divided by three stacks equals four per stack. Simplicity at its finest.

My wife recently replaced some of the broken ones with four new ones. Luckily, the bowls she got are all the same pattern, which helps with equilibrium, synchronicity and symmetry.

However, the badly needed new ones are wider and, therefore, will go below tho originals. Also, there are four of them to go into three stacks. Potentially problematic.

My wife's mother, who was unaware of our purchase, also purchased some nice bowls as a gift for us to replace some of the broken ones. While much appreciated, this has thrown my bowl system into some serious disarray.

These new bowls are the same size, but deeper. Also, they comprise of, again, four bowls -- two solid green, two solid red. While the colors do match the original bowls, once again we have four new bowls and three stacks.

Now we have approximately 15 bowls and three different sizes of bowls. Of these, we have two different patterns and one solid set. And the solid set is two different colors. And yet we still have just three stacks! My symmetry has been torn asunder!

Thank goodness I'm not OCD, or anything like that. Otherwise, this whole breakfast bowl fiasco could send me into a serious mental state.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

The Truth About First Grade

We, meaning my teachers, decided to give our first-graders one last writing assignment for the year.  They had to write a letter to an upcoming first-grader, aka, a kindergartner, telling that person about first grade.

My last assignment as the first grade teacher assistant (I'll have new adventures in another role next year!) was to hand our soon-to-be second-graders sheets with five sentence starters. I even filled one out myself. Here it is, with the sentence starters in italics.

Dear upcoming first-grader,

You are going to have so much fun when you get to college. Or to the beach. If you're lucky, you can combine the two! Seriously, though, first grade is fun too. Really. It is. Should I try that one again?

You are going to have so much fun under your desk. Don't ask. I'm not sure. However, the kids that spend time under their desks often seem to be having the most fun.

You will never forget your teacher assistant. They're the best, especially good looking male teacher assistants. And, of course, your teacher. And any fun you happen to have along the way, such as time spent under your desk.

You need to know that your new teacher is out to get you. I mean, is not out to get you! I mean... Wait! Do over!

You need to know that your new teacher is a human being just like you. However, it's important to tell them how pretty/handsome they are. Regularly. And, instead of apples, they like Skittles. And Reese's Pieces. Oh, and M&M'S. Especially the peanut M&M's. Daily.
 
Remember to always duck. Chances are, you don't want the unidentifiable green objects that fly over from the next desk to actually touch you. It's best that you not know what it is or from where it originated. This may be a good time to practice crawling under your desk.

My final advice is take the time to learn proper protocol, such as the best way to crawl under your desk. The why is not important. It's all about the how and doing it with grace and panache and not getting caught until you are fully underneath the desk.

Your big buddy,
Mr. Haworth

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

End of the School Year Blues

In lieu of a blog post, we here at Fuzzy, Black Dogs are venturing into uncharted territory. We have created a video for a post!

Please click on the following link, which will send you to my YouTube video, simply titled, "End of the School Year Blues."

http://youtu.be/gKiSkmmd5MQ

I hope you enjoy!

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Summer Plans, in Five Sentences

We're on the tail end of the academic year. After nearly 180 days of craziness, I know that my colleagues AND students are planning some well-deserved summer breaks.

We've already got the kids writing about it.

"Tell me what you're summer plans are," I heard one of my first grade teachers tell her students. "What kind of fun will you have. If you don't have any plans, tell me what you would like to do over the summer. At least five sentences, please!"

I don't know about those kids, but I have big plans for my summer. Allow me to tell you what they are.

I may get started on the hot tub in my back deck. How hard could that be? I also want to make a rock patio in a corner of my back yard, replete with a grill built into it. Oh, and I need to convert my son's fort into a utility shed while I'm in project mode.

I've got trips to schedule between the projects so I won't be bored this summer.

There will be at least two fishing trips to the beach. For everyone else, they're just beach trips. I'm thinking at least three trips to Badin Lake -- again, fishing.

I'm researching some blue ribbon trout streams in Montana, currently. I haven't mentioned that trip to my wife yet. No worries, though. What wife doesn't want her hubby to be happy?

Don't forget all the grilling that needs to take place. Grilling at my home. Grilling at the beach. Grilling at my friend Al's house. Grilling at the lake. Grilling fish, hamburgers, hot dogs, ribs, steaks, shish kabobs and anything else I can throw onto my grill!

Add to this list several numerous rounds of golf and a camping trip or two. Have I mentioned fishing? We'll squeeze in a little more here.

And then I'm going to... Wait! Have I exceeded five sentences?