fuzzy, black dogs

fuzzy, black dogs
All three of my fuzzy, black dogs -- Bob, Ace and Lilly.

Phillip's Scenic Overlook

Friday, July 3, 2015

Local University Flaunts Extraterrestrial Tech

I'm eight classes into graduate school. I'm four weeks into my Master's degree. That gives me approximately two years to go, right? The question begging to be answered is -- will I make it?

At this point, I'm simply not sure if I will or not. The technology may kill me first!

I had a rude awakening about three classes ago. Here's what happened in a nutshell.

Two women -- and I use that term loosely since they, as well as my classmates, all look like teenagers to this 47 year-old -- wheeled in what looked like a hibachi style, silver metal cooking table.

The table turned out to be a "laptop cart." They opened hidden doors to reveal a neat, precise row of wafer thin, silver squares. It looked scary. The squares, it turned out, were laptops.

I watched my classmates and tried to replicate them by walking to the station, unplugging one of the sinister looking, silver seeds, and placing it on my desk before me.


Man, those things were small! My first cell phone was bigger than those little laptops!

Regardless, I continued to imitate the women. As I did, I noticed the fruit emblazoned upon the device. Hmm... I opened it up. That began my first panic attack.

It took a moment, but I did find the 'on' button. Whew! My panic ebbed a bit. And then it came back in full force. Darn High Point University and its alien technology!

Where the *BLEEP* were all my buttons! The 'F' keys were missing! The number pad was gone! And, most importantly, my left and right click buttons simply were not there! In fact, there were NO clicky buttons!

The alien device's screen glowed, staring at me. It silently mocked me. I assessed the distance from my desk to the door and gauged how quickly I could run from the classroom.

As luck would have it, all these young women, as well as the professor, are incredibly nice. They're respectful to the elderly and have given me a crash course on operating the university's crazy technology.

That, of course, leads me to my next question... How do these women know how to operate this extraterrestrial tech?