Thoughts on How Life Is

I recently read a post on a 'serious' blog called 'Thoughts on how life should be.' While I am unable to relocate this particular blog, I can tell you it was about growing up. It was also about raising kids.

Like the author, I, too, was kicked out the door in the morning and told to go have fun. My mother even told me to stay out of trouble, for all the good that did me.

But I didn't grow up poor. I did, however, have a most pleasant childhood, living and playing in my own little bubble, sometimes separate from reality. Like the author, my Dad taught me to ride my two-wheeler and bought me my first BB gun, as well as taught me how to fish.

"I know things are different," this author says. Umm, yeah. They sure are.

"Wouldn't it be cool if you got a BB gun for Christmas, son," I remember asking my son one year.

"What," my eight year-old son exclaimed. "Do you want me dead? You know how dangerous those things are, dad? I'm gonna have to tell mom..."

I initially tried to teach him how to ride a bike without training wheels.

"I know how this works, dad," he told me. "You hold the bike up and let go when I'm not paying attention and I just start riding. I'm not falling for that one."

As I remember, his grandmother actually taught him how to ride his two-wheeler. Thank you, Ginga!

The author went so far to say that dads should teach their kids how to fish. Yep. I attempted that one, too.

One of my first attempts led to the "liberating" of all my minnows back into the lake. Believe it or not, that was my four-year-old son's choice of words. 

I broached the subject with my son a few years later, getting a completely different response.

"That minnow is not going to survive being impaled upon that hook, dad," he said. "So, basically, you're murdering one fish with the hopes of murdering a second fish. Where is the logic behind that?"

Logic aside, I still manage to enjoy fishing, despite my son's bleak outlook.

Maybe I should start a new blog. It'll be all about parenting. In fact, I already have a name for the new blog -- Thoughts on How Life Is.

Summer Plans, in Five Sentences

We're on the tail end of the academic year. After nearly 180 days of craziness, I know that my colleagues AND students are planning some well-deserved summer breaks.

We've already got the kids writing about it.

"Tell me what you're summer plans are," I heard one of my first grade teachers tell her students. "What kind of fun will you have. If you don't have any plans, tell me what you would like to do over the summer. At least five sentences, please!"

I don't know about those kids, but I have big plans for my summer. Allow me to tell you what they are.

I may get started on the hot tub in my back deck. How hard could that be? I also want to make a rock patio in a corner of my back yard, replete with a grill built into it. Oh, and I need to convert my son's fort into a utility shed while I'm in project mode.

I've got trips to schedule between the projects so I won't be bored this summer.

There will be at least two fishing trips to the beach. For everyone else, they're just beach trips. I'm thinking at least three trips to Badin Lake -- again, fishing.

I'm researching some blue ribbon trout streams in Montana, currently. I haven't mentioned that trip to my wife yet. No worries, though. What wife doesn't want her hubby to be happy?

Don't forget all the grilling that needs to take place. Grilling at my home. Grilling at the beach. Grilling at my friend Al's house. Grilling at the lake. Grilling fish, hamburgers, hot dogs, ribs, steaks, shish kabobs and anything else I can throw onto my grill!

Add to this list several numerous rounds of golf and a camping trip or two. Have I mentioned fishing? We'll squeeze in a little more here.

And then I'm going to... Wait! Have I exceeded five sentences?

Bumps Make Vacations Great!

Normally, during our yearly Kiawah Island vacations, something goes awry, amiss or just plain askew. This years trip, it seems, went exceedingly well. I even got along we'll with the rest of my family!

Don't get me wrong, though. Every good trip has its bumps, however minor.

Take the fishing, for example. My nephew caught several grunts, and I don't mean little kids. I caught bluefish, shark and a sting ray. Sadly, none of what was caught was cooked or eaten.

I also fished with my nephew in one of the ponds that litter the island. I caught tree branches, the bridge we were fishing on and no fish. I did, however, manage to hook an alligator.

This, incidentally, is the gator a mere moment before he attacked my fishing lure!

Go figure, right? Now, everyone knows that you're not supposed to mess with the gators. I didn't really mess with him, per se, but I certainly didn't think he'd take my fishing lure! He took two lures, in fact! I had to cut my line twice simply because I didn't think I stood much of a chance at landing a four foot gator.

And then there was the bike ride. Instead of being chased by the tide (like last year), this time around we were chased by a storm. One family member in particular felt certain we could outrun the storm. That prediction proved slightly erroneous.

As luck would have it, we found a large metal tunnel to keep us dry and safe while it lightninged and thundered. My son and I joined my father, older sister and nephew, who were already huddled inside! After five long minutes, my 15 year old decided to take his chances playing out in the rain.

The only other 'bump' would be the bike ride back in the driving rain. The fact that one member of our little group was grossly out of shape, whined, moaned and complained the rest of the way didn't make the ride any easier. But at least it gave me something to do!