The Case of the Missing Coat

I'm sure you've all heard it before. You know, you're mom or dad telling you to put (insert random object here) back where you got it and you won't lose it. Perhaps it was gloves, keys or school books. Or, perhaps it was a coat...

"If you hang your coat up, you won't lose it," my mother would say to seven year-old me. "You'll always know where to look for it."

There may have been a couple of times 30-some odd years ago when I might have misplaced a coat, or some other article of clothing. Each time I did, I would politely ask each family member if they'd stolen... I mean, seen the missing article of clothing.

Regardless, 45 year-old me followed Mom's directions. When I got inside the house, I dutifully hung my coat up. I even put it on a coat hook. When the time came to leave, it was missing.

Dramatic re-creation of hanging coat prior to its disappearance.

My mom actually asked me if I had hung my coat. I remained calm and collected. I pointed out that my scarf was still there and my coat should be with it. My wife asked if I even wore my coat. Of course I wore it! I'd have been hypothermic without it.

My father, the doctor, informed me that I was exhibiting the early symptoms of Alzheimer's Disease.

"I don't have Alzheimer's," I yelled, my calm demeanor cracking slightly.

Apparently, his patients say that, too.

In short, I left my parents' house in sub-zero weather coatless and gloveless, as my gloves were tucked in the coat pockets. Luckily, my fingers aren't too frost-bitten to type!

Thank goodness for the 21st Century! I texted both my sisters, asking if anyone had stolen... Whoops! SEEN my missing coat.

It all turned out to be an innocent misunderstanding. My niece (a teenager), in her haste to leave, grabbed the nearest warm coat she could find. We worked it out and I got my coat back.

"Wow," my wife exclaimed, giving it a sniff. "Your coat's never smelled quite so good!"

As soon as I've figured that one out, I may be penning yet another post.