EOG's Test... Knowledge?

It's EOG (End of Grade) testing time again. Boy are those tests grueling. But I don't think the tests were quite as bad for the kids.

This year's test results were phenomenal! In the classroom that I proctored, we recorded no less than 73 yawns, 16 audible snores and only one seemingly self-induced coma. While we're not exactly allowed to talk about the test, I can tell you that it's a lot different from when I was in the fifth grade.

When I was that age, we called the tests... Never mind. I won't print that. However, the teachers and administrators called them the CAT's, otherwise known as the California Achievement Test.

Thinking back on those tests, I have since discovered why they were called the CAT's. First, I think I read that the questions were created by some free-spirit from California who was probably smoking crack. Second, the rows of "bubbles" to fill in were so incredibly long, you felt you'd actually achieved something by making it through the test without passing out. This is especially true if you made it all the way to the end of the test before "time's up! Pencils down," was yelled. I never did.

And third, it seemed like they only tested one's ability to read and answer questions quickly, but not necessarily accurately.

I actually remember the teachers telling me (many decades ago!) that the CAT's will reflect the sum of our knowledge we have gained throughout the school year. Judging from my own personal math portion of the test, my knowledge may not have been added correctly.

Also, judging from my incredible ability to mentally freeze up under a test with a timed deadline, it's a miracle I even got halfway through the test before the teacher yelled her announcement, "time's up! Pencils down!"

I'm glad to report that I'm still alive and kicking. And those CAT's didn't mentally damage me... Too badly, anyway. And, perhaps, there's a free-spirited Californian on crack who has summed up all the knowledge I gained in school. I hope to meet him one day so I can find out what I learned.