Good Behavior Has Its Perks

I've often wondered what I'd do
if I ran the classroom...
Well, today's the day! I'm a sub!
I'll make those kids' brains bloom!

When they came in quietly,
it was obvious to see
that, already, these young children
were all enamored with me.

I greeted students. I smiled at Jeeter.
I know how this works.
"Please sit and behave," I told them nicely.
"Good behavior has its perks!"

The first assignment for today?
"Let's see how well you write!"
But later, as I walked the desks,
I spied gleaming pages of white.

"My pencil's broke!" "My elbow hurts!"
"Hey! Jeeter took my pencil!"
How much trouble would there be
if Jeeter's head should meet a stencil?

I shook it off and told myself,
'I'm the teacher. I'm in charge.
I think I could be just as good
as their teacher, Miss LeBarge!'

We transitioned oh so smoothly
into guided reading,
until I noticed Jeeter was gone
and Brianna's arm was bleeding!

As I began to really panic,
full-blown stress took over.
I stopped the bleeding and Jeeter
came back, thanks to Mrs. Clover!

It took all of specials and recess
to pull myself together.
And then I noticed Cindy's gone!
Is she testing? Did I forget her?

Have I mentioned that Jeeter's gone nuts
as we tried to coast into math?
I'd have preferred some literature
like teacher's "Grapes of Wrath."

Then we eased uneasily into
something called 'team time,'
which I affectionately refer to
as the final downhill climb!

Now Carmella's locked in the bathroom
and Jeeter's screaming on the rug.
All I can do is heave a sigh
and reach for my travel mug.

Water?! Oh, Lord, please help me!
Make something stronger in my cup.
As the day's end slowly approaches,
I yell, "Jeeter! Just shut up!"