"Pardon Me... Do You Have Any Grey Poupon?"

I did some stupid things as a teenager. There were some go-cart, skateboard and bicycle stunts. There were even some fireworks experimentation that nearly blew appendages off my body. The one thing that was not part of my repertoire, however, was vandalism.

I've heard of all sorts and types of vandalism before. You know the stories... Toilet paper, eggs or other supplies applied to houses, cars and other personal property. I've even heard of burning people's yards and, of course, there's the famous scene from "The Help" where toilet seats were spread out in the front yard. Heck, I even know of a neighbor who had curse words written in his front yard grass with bleach!

But I have honestly never in my life heard of someone Grey Poupon'ing someone's car! While I'm glad to tell you I have now, I'm sad to report it was MY car!

What, exactly, were they thinking?

"Hey, Fred, let's go around and squirt mustard on peoples' cars."
"Better than that, Eddie, we can Grey Poupon (Dijon, or insert whatever fancy brand you like here) someone's car! Let's do it with style!"

Naturally, the person or persons who decided to mustard my car did it on one of the coldest nights possible, thereby creating a lovely form of frozen pop-art upon the side of my car. Silver, Volvo stationwagons, I imagine, make the best canvasses for this type of art.

Having said that, I'm beginning to wonder if I should clean the car, or sell it. It's possible that the art may actually enhance the value of my vehicle.