Customer Service? What's That?

I tried to pay my cell phone bill today. Please note the word 'try.' I may have been successful, but the customer service was a hindrance and the technology robbed me. Literally.

It started as I walked confidently into our local AT&T store to pay my phone bill. I smiled and looked around, noticing several employees lumped together. They stared back at me as though I had a cow on a leash at my side.

I walked up to what I perceived to be the friendliest face in the bunch.

"Who do I make my payment to," I asked.

"We don't take payments," the young girl said with obvious disdain in her voice. "Sir," she added after a brief hesitation. At least she was attempting courteousness. I think.

One of the gentleman in the group jumped to help me. He pointed out the payment kiosk, explained it and showed me how to get started and what to do.

The uncaring payment kiosk.

So I went through the motions. I input my account number. I hit electronic screen buttons. I verified my identity to the machine. It verified that I owed it money. And then... Problem.

Apparently, the payment machine takes credit cards, debit cards and exact cash, and perhaps checks. Of course, I had none of these with me. I had cash, but not the exact amount.

"Who do I get change from here in order to complete my payment," I asked that same 'friendly' face. I am a sucker for punishment.

"You have to bring yer own change," she said (another brief hesitation). "Sir."

I looked at her. I looked over at the kiosk. She made it clear she was finished with me. I figured the kiosk didn't care one way or the other.

So, as of today, I am a proud investor of AT&T. I now have an investment equaling the grand total of $3.98! Is that what they mean by pay it forward?

Thanks AT&T! Another happy customer (insert nasty grumble here)!

Selfies Best Left to the Young

I've shot people. I've shot animals. I've shot nature. I've even shot a couple of weddings. I took a lot of my own photographs at the newspapers at which I've worked. I have even received advice from two award-winning photographers and won an award (an honorable mention, in fact) myself. But, try as I might, I simply cannot seem to take an acceptable selfie.



Me, enjoying my morning coffee.



A 'selfie' is a photo that you take of yourself, by yourself. One generally takes a selfie with a cell phone camera. I can attest to the difficulty of taking a selfie with a digital SLR, let alone a regular SLR.



Me, sitting on the front porch.



You can add others to your selfie, if you so choose. In doing so, you are no longer taking a selfie. You are now taking a 'groupie.' If we're keeping our pronoun suffix consistent, we should be calling it a 'selvie.' Or, perhaps, 'selvesie.'

Regardless of my futile attempt to grammatically correct slang terms, the fact remains that I have yet to take a successful selfie. Please note the examples placed within this post.



Me, feeding the dogs.

I've even attempted some selfies with my wife, who is generally more tech savvy than myself. Those attempts failed as well, most likely through no fault of hers!

My wife and I.

I decided to throw in the towel and call on the experts. Approximately seven how to internet articles later, I announced that I knew exactly what to do to finally take the perfect selfie. Needless to say, I followed their directions to the letter and, viola! I got the perfectly centered and composed photograph of me and my wife that you see here.

Now if someone could please tell me how to activate the flash on this stinking cell phone, I might be able to take a decent selfie!