The fact that you're reading this right now means that I'm still alive, well and writing. I stared death in the face and lived to tell my tale! I took a licking and kept on... Ugh! Gross!
That could have been a good pun, but the event it refers to is just too fresh in my mind. Regardless, the above topic and pun reflect my first two resolutions for 2015. I resolve not to lick ANY dogs (ever!) and to create and print more and better puns and witticisms. Especially puns that refer to fish...
For the curious, here is the remainder of my list of New Year Resolutions.
I resolve to keep my readers updated on any weird, new products available to the unsuspecting public.
I resolve to hone my selfie-taking skills and take a good selfie of myself. Is that redundant? I'll also locate and eradicate redundancies in my writing!
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| Good focus, bad aim and perhaps a little less hair gel... |
I resolve to overcome my addiction to Pop-Tarts. In case of failure, I plan to reduce my Pop-Tart intake. Significantly.
I resolve to run more 5K's in 2015 and the future. That's my contingency plan should my backup plan of the reduction of Pop-Tarts not work out the way it is supposed to.
My last ditch effort resolution should none of this work is to get Pop-Tarts to sponsor this blog. I wonder if they'd pay in cash or toaster pastries?
I resolve to petition Clairol to rename their hair coloring from Nice 'n Easy to something more accurate. Maybe just shorten it to Nice. I didn't perceive it to be that easy. Regardless, my wife will have to find someone else to help her in the future.
I resolve to take my idea for CeleBags to the guys on ABC's Shark Tank. Perhaps my first bags will be Mark Cuban, Kevin O'Leary, Robert Herjavec, Barbara Corcoran, Daymond John and Lori Greiner. I've heard schmoozing sometimes helps with those guys.
And, when I finally take down Christmas, I resolve to store the top of the Christmas tree in the same general area that I store the rest of the tree. Let's pray I remember THIS resolution a week from now!
My last ditch effort resolution should none of this work is to get Pop-Tarts to sponsor this blog. I wonder if they'd pay in cash or toaster pastries?
I resolve to petition Clairol to rename their hair coloring from Nice 'n Easy to something more accurate. Maybe just shorten it to Nice. I didn't perceive it to be that easy. Regardless, my wife will have to find someone else to help her in the future.
I resolve to take my idea for CeleBags to the guys on ABC's Shark Tank. Perhaps my first bags will be Mark Cuban, Kevin O'Leary, Robert Herjavec, Barbara Corcoran, Daymond John and Lori Greiner. I've heard schmoozing sometimes helps with those guys.
And, when I finally take down Christmas, I resolve to store the top of the Christmas tree in the same general area that I store the rest of the tree. Let's pray I remember THIS resolution a week from now!
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