Poetry Contest for April

In case you didn't know, April is National Poetry Month. Fuzzy, Black Dogs is collecting poems and also will be having a give-away later this month. I've included more details at the end of this post.

In honor of this most special month, I'm torturing all my students by imparting my vast knowledge of poetry upon them.

"Uhh, Mr. Haworth," a girl in one of my classes asked recently. "Does bug rhyme with rain?"

It seems like I may have my work cut out for me there. Regardless, here are some of my own fun poems I'd like to share with you.

Roses are wilted
Violets are dead.
Forgot to water them.
Here's a poem instead.

----

Oh, fuzzy, black dogs,
Why do you smell?
Why do you stink
Like eternal #^££!

And why did you eat
The remote control.
The TV lies dormant,
>@%¥ your dog soul!

Not everything I write is funny or ridiculous. I wrote this Shakespearean-style sonnet for my wife before we got married.

In autumn days the wind grows strong
And the earth gets hard and cold,
The springtime warmth will thaw the throngs
Of flowers so bright and bold;
What chance does that which lives
Against such changing weather
Its life it ultimately gives
For nothing will go on forever.
But if your warmth and your love
Were to crush beneath such a pressure
My life would surely go on, but above
And beyond any earthly pleasure.
Your personal changes will always affect me,
But your love is my sole stability.

Here is a poem my son just thought up for this post. I apologize for his weirdness.

This is a haiku.
It's a type of poetry,
Refrigerator.

One of my favorite funny poems comes from "Bloom County," one of the greatest cartoons ever created. The character Steve has written a poem for a sorority girl he has a crush on. In an effort to impress her, he recites the poem drunk and naked on her front porch.

"In my dreams
You're all I sees.
Boobs, butt and knees.
Won't you please
Be my main squeeze."

For the month of April, send me some of your funniest poems. I will publish some of them in my posts throughout this month. I will be picking one random winner to receive a $10 Barnes & Noble gift card (yeah, I'm broke!).

Here are the details. Here's how you can enter to win the gift card. 1. Send me your poetry -- one entry. 2. Follow my blog -- one entry. 3. Like Fuzzy, Black Dogs on Facebook -- one entry. 4. Share Fuzzy, Black Dogs on your wall -- one entry. 5. Follow me on Twitter (@phillip_haworth) -- one entry. 6. Leave a comment on the blog including how many entries you have entered and where. Deadline for entries is April 14 at midnight. The winner will be announced on April 16th.