The first thing... Scratch that. The main thing that you, or anyone, for that matter, need to know about teenage boys is that they simply don't make sense. Really. They just don't.
Very seldom will you understand what it is that they're talking about. Even rarer will be the occasion that you understand what they're doing or, God help you, why they're doing whatever the heck it is they are doing!
Just today, I noticed my newly 16-year-oldized son standing in the kitchen door bouncing sideways in the door frame from shoulder to shoulder, making burbling sounds with his lips.
"What are you doing," I asked him.
"Nothing," he responded.
"Well," I responded, "you're doing something. It's kind of annoying."
"That's the point."
"What's the point," I asked.
"To be annoying."
The conversation deteriorated quickly.
Most importantly, I broke my golden rule of parenting a teenage boy -- if you don't acknowledge it, then it didn't happen. If you don't talk about it, it's not there. I find this philosophy to be effective and useful about 97 percent of the time with my son.
Be sure to save your energy for that three percent of the time when the real parenting skills you have learned and acquired thus far will really be needed!
Regardless, I did perform the proper follow through to the non-acknowledgement rule stated above. Proper follow through protocol dictates a lengthy, silent look. It should be an appraising look, as opposed to a menacing look. Nod your head twice and meaningfully utter the phrase, "You know, I believe there's a pill made that fixes this."
And that's it! Simple, huh? There may be a post in the future where I throw some wild guesses out on how to deal with teenaged girls. After all, they can't be that different from teenaged boys, right?
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