What's Wrong With This World?

Who took the grapes out of my grape jelly? It has recently come to my attention, albeit through my wife, that grape jelly contains no actual grapes. She went on to tell me that it's really just grape flavored gelatin.

Now that's just crazy talk!

I immediately pulled my sticky jar of jelly from the fridge and glanced at the ingredients. No where on that jar does it list grapes as an ingredient for my jelly. My wife's response? Just a sad "I told you so" was all I got from her.

And, of course, you know what else that means. There are no apples in my apple jelly! Now that simply stinks!

Of course, this caused severe consternation for me. I began to wonder what else is missing out there. I set out on a quest to discover what else has gone AWOL in our daily lives.

I once saw a carpet that was NOT made from any fiber. The tag on the carpet boasted that in an earlier life, it was just a pile of plastic soda bottles. We have clothing made from soda bottles, too. I've seen ladies handbags made from all sorts of strange recycled products.

My Dad's deck looks like wood, but it isn't. It's made of the same synthetic material that was used to make my bird feeder. The deck, like my bird feeder, is supposed to last more than a lifetime. The salesman told me the feeder is guaranteed to never rot.

Now I know that most orange juice goes through a process where they actually take the orange out of the juice and add orange flavoring back to the "juice" later in the process.

We have a candy at the retail store I work at that is called Swedish Fish. Yes, they are quite yummy. No, they are not made in Sweden and, no, they don't contain fish. They are shaped like little fishes, though! And, in case you are wondering, they're produced in Canada.

The "wooden" desks at my school are not made of wood, though they're made to look like they are. My Mom's bacon is not made of real meat. My Ford is not made of all American parts.

Holy bacon splat, Batman! What's wrong with this world?