Growing Old Is Mandatory, Growing Up Is Optional

Generally speaking, one just doesn't reach the age of 43 without learning a few tricks along the way. During the first 43 year journey of my life, I have collected a few sayings of my own. You know, my own original pearls of wisdom, or tidbits of knowledge of which I will pass along to my 13 year old son to make growing up a little easier for him.

Here's a (very) small sampling of what I've come up with so far:

Never lick a flaming marshmalllow unless you want a burnt tongue.

Life is like a cow pasture. You never know what you're going to step in.

Life is like a box of chocolates... I know. You've heard this one. I said it before Forrest Gump did. I think.

The worms of life are merely bait for tomorrow's fish.

A trout in the stream is inevitable. A trout on the hook is divine. A trout in a picture with you is proof.

If life gives you a cold, wet nose and slobbery tongue, then wake your owner in time for work.

And two of my favorites:

The early nerd gets the virus.

Happiness is a fuzzy dog.

I could put my whole list into a book. It could be a best seller. Or I could just do myself a favor and follow my 13 year old son around and write down everything he says. Don't let his age fool you. He comes up with sayings that nearly equal my own -- and sometimes exceed them!

"Growing old is mandatory," he said, during dinner conversation tonight. "Growing up is optional."

I particularly liked it, though I'm still pondering what or who inspired it.