Battling Darth Lilly in the Snow

I normally love my three fuzzy, black dogs. But when it snows, I don't. Snowstorms bring out the worst in my dogs.

As I detailed in my very first blog post, there's a certain protocol that must be followed when the dogs go out to go potty. I open the back door. They run into the yard. They do numbers one and two. They run back up. I let them back inside. All done!

Five years later, the fact is, Lilly still hates snow. The "all mighty princess" now takes three steps out the door, turns to face the door (and, of course, me!), looks me in the eye and squats on the deck. If she were a Star Wars dog, she would be an evil Sith Lord!

She still refuses to go outside in any adverse conditions -- defined as any conditions that don't include sunshine and blue skies!

Bob is usually oblivious to the weather conditions. Rain? No problem. Fog? No problem. Night? No problem. The snow, though, throws poop Bob off his game.

He ran outside. He paused. Whoa, everything looks different! Let's have fun! Excitedly, he begins running around like a crazed animal, except he's like a race car with no traction with his back end spinning wildly out of control.

Sadly, as he comes spinning back up onto the deck, he realizes that in all his exuberant excitement he forgot to do numbers one and two in the yard. Do I need to finish this paragraph? Really?

Luckily, Ace still uses the yard in all conditions. You've got to take the small victories where you can.

Meanwhile, I'll be waiting for the snow to melt in order to clean up the near-miss victories. And I'll also be waiting for the next snowstorm when I'll once again do battle with Darth Lilly.

What Is Weird?

Due to some of the comments I recieved from my previous post, "May the Force be With You," I realized that many of the people who read this bastion of fine literature may not understand me quite as well as my family. Personally, I prefer to use the term 'eccentric' to describe myself. Unfortunately, my own adage negates that fact and brings me down to just plain weird. My adage? It is as follows:

"The only thing that seperates the eccentric from the weird is about a million dollars."

Regardless, it's time for me to coin a new term for someone who is delightfully different from what is considered to be the societal norm.

Be that as it may, my original plan of attack on the Star Wars novels was to read them all, starting with the first one on the SW timeline. When I started, that would be the "Darth Bane" series which occurred more than a millennia bby (before the Battle of Yavin). I think I got to around 800 aby (you got it -- after the Battle of Yavin) when I got frustrated and began skipping around the timeline. When I read about a one-armed Wampa trying to get even with Luke Skywalker on the ice planet Hoth, I knew I was reaching the end of my metaphorical SW rope.

I will be continuing my research of what is considered weird and what is considered downright bizarre. For example, is it so weird to always eat M&M candies in order of color, always ending with the green ones? Is it so weird to have your unread books lined up in order of how you plan to read them? Is it so weird to arrange the dishes and the glasses in the cabinet so they are either symmetrical or in order from the largest to the smallest?

While these are merely examples I came up with, I will delve further into this matter for the sake of my readers. Once completed, I plan to publish the results of my research here to enlighten and possibly entertain my loyal readers.

May the Force be With You

I like to challenge myself with my reading sometimes. Right now, I'm reading -- albeit, very slowly -- a three series (books), post-modern novel that my Father-in-law gave me for a special occasion. While I won't tell you when I started the story, I will tell you that I am currently 50 pages into the first book. Wow! Only approximately 2.8 more books to go until I finish. I plan to have it read by Christmas. Next Christmas, that is.

Every now and again, though, it's good to just lay back and enjoy a no-brainer and just get lost in the story. I went through a brief period where I did just that. I read nothing but Star Wars novels. I'm pretty certain that phase lasted approximately eight months. According to my wife and teenage son, however, that phase lasted for two very long years.

My original plan was to read ALL the Star Wars novels available, which numbered around 140 books at the time. Unfortunately, more books are being added all the time and that number changed. Also, they seemed to be having a strange effect on me.

According to two family members (since the other three don't speak English), I began to make all sorts of Star Wars metaphors and analogies for random life situations. They said I also began speaking gibberish, or, as my son not-so-quaintly put it, speaking a stupid Star Wars language no one but me understood.

Shortly thereafter, the intervention took place. Drugs, my son and wife told me, are not the answer. Then they explained that drugs can take many forms, such as the form of a Star Wars novel. My current drug, they pointed out, was not only poisoning my mind, but ruining their lives as well.

I won't bore you with the rest of that event except to say that they are sometimes prone to exaggeration. I have since moved on, though, and have finished nearly every Preston & Childs book available, except two. I plan to get those very soon.

Until I do, may the force be with you all.