Bass-tastic Fish Tales

"Do you expect me to talk?"

"No, Mr. Bass! I expect you to die!"

He was just a bass player in a little band. That is, until one day, a fan hooked him and stuck a finger in his mouth. That was the beginning of the end.

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Bass Fish

"But you look like a baritone."

"Nope. I only sing bass."

Quick honey! Get out the Ronco Bass-O-Matic! Mmmm! That's good bass!

My mental radio seemed to be out of synch. I decided to adjust a little bass.

Another fisherman saw my catch.

"Nice fish," he said. "What're you fishing with?"

"Well," I replied, "I started with a treble hook, but ended with a bass hook."

Lights? Camera? No. Just Action!

While Memorial Day is a day to remember those who defended our country, the holiday also means the beginning of summer. Golf. Beach trips. Picnics. Projects. Food. Swimming. And movies, movies, movies!

Normally, I can tell you what great movies are coming out for the summer. I can also tell you what I'm looking forward to seeing, but not this year. I've been much too busy to even consider turning on the TV!

I will admit that I've heard about "Guardians of the Galaxy" and I'm actually looking forward to it. While I think it has potential, all the super cool movies are way out on the horizon. The next Star Wars, for example, is scheduled for release in 2015!

With that being said, here is my brief list of movies to watch this summer. If you haven't seen them, these are some of the all-time greats, as well as being some of my personal favorites.

No great movie list would be complete without "The Godfather." Great acting. Great movie. Ok, I'm just regurgitating what I've heard. I will, however, concede to the fact that it's a really good movie.

I suppose this is as good a place as any to lump the Indiana Jones movies. The first, "Raiders of the Lost Ark," being the best, and then the third. Replace Shia in the fourth and it could improve the film.

Face it. What's cooler than the main character utilizing a bullwhip for a weapon?

Of course, the original Star Wars trilogy ranks pretty high on my list. Laser swords (aka, light sabers). Laser blasters. The force. Need I say more? Hans Christianson's acting skills and Jar-Jar Binks' character aside, the prequel trilogy was quite enjoyable, also.

All James Bond movies go on my list, including the one where Henry Lazenby (who thankfully played Bond only once) was the suave hero. I even like the original where Peter Sellers played James Bond. Hey! I'm only a guy!

And my favorite movie of all time? That's easy. Peter Benchley's "Jaws" is hands down my favorite movie. Ever.

I must confess, though, that "Jaws" wasn't always my favorite movie. There was a brief period of time, in fact, when it was my LEAST favorite movie. For approximately two weeks after the movie first came out, I had nightmares that sharks were swimming up to the foot of my bed and snapping at my toes in order to drag me into the water and devour me.

You know, that movie came out in 1976. Perhaps eight years old may be just a little too young to see a movie like that on the big screen. Or, perhaps not.

Thanks, Dad.