It started with the appearance of a most compact, simple device. And, yes, it has a name. It's called a power washer. Specifically, it's called a Greenworks Electric Pressure Washer.
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| Actual photographic evidence of the offending item. |
How does it work? I have no idea. What I do know is that it takes a small stream of water (from a garden hose, of course) and magically transforms it into a torrential, intense jet of water capable of stripping dirt and gunk from wood, bark from trees, paint from cars and fur from dogs and cats. The warning diagram on the paperwork shows a severed finger! Yikes!
I'm merely conjecturing. No dogs or cats have been harmed for the express purpose of this blogpost.
The warnings in the paperwork failed to mention other harmful side effects one may encounter by using this product. "This product may ruin vacations" was not listed as a danger.
I went to my parents quaint lake house for the Fourth of July. My plans included a few beers and a lot of fishing. My mother's plans, however, veered off in different direction.
"Why don't you bring your power washer," she suggested. She and my father thought it might be nice to clean up the boat dock "a little bit."
Like the good son I am, I pressure washed the dock. I was ready to settle into some beers and some serious fishing.
"You didn't ask me to do the steps," I replied.
"The dock looks so good, it'd be a shame to not do the steps," she replied.
"Okay," I said. "The steps. Check. Then I'm relaxing and enjoying myself."
Approximately 3,200 steps, 4.5 miles of brick walkway, and 6,900 square feet of decking later, I finally managed to sit down with a beer in hand to relax and enjoy the Fourth.
I woke up some time later with an unopened beer in my hand.
"Hey hon," my wife said. "You get a good nap? You slept through the fireworks."
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