fuzzy, black dogs

fuzzy, black dogs
The original three fuzzy, black dogs -- Bob, Ace and Lilly.

Phillip's Scenic Overlook

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Why Is It, Elementary Edition

I recently reread a piece written by the late, great Patrick McManus. Simply titled "Why Is It," the article is a list of 'why is its' geared toward the hunting and fishing crowd. Clearly Mr. McManus didn't teach second grade.

So, borrowing the title, here is my second grade version of the same article.

Why is it the loudest student in the classroom is the same student who doesn't like to be looked at?

Why is it that, before a test when the teacher asks if anyone has any questions, no one does?

Why is it that, after that same test has been passed out, half the classroom has questions?

Why is it there is always at least one student who asks, "What am I supposed to do," after directions have been given?

Why is it no kids have to use the restroom when asked?

Why is it that five minutes after being asked, one student has to go the restroom?

Why is it if one student suddenly has to go to the restroom, no less than five more have to go?

Why is it all pencil leads break at the same time during a test/pop quiz/writing assignment?

Why is it my pencil sharpener is louder than a full orchestra at maximum volume?

Why is it my kids want to hug on me only when they're sick and shouldn't be at school?

Why is it there are at least 72 ways to spell Alicia and they're all pronounced the same?

Why is it the same five students ask all morning long is it time for lunch/recess yet?

Why is it, after having two lessons on time (and there's a digital clock on the SMART Board), the same student constantly asks, "What time is it?"

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