Chaotic Books Cause Suffering

Even though I really don't suffer from OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, in case you're wondering), I have to admit to having just a few particular tendencies towards certain... Things.

Books, coincidentally, fall in this list. In fact, they're probably pretty high in that list. They may possibly top the list, but I'm digressing.

Anyway, I just happened to visit my wife at her school earlier today. She likes to give me "little projects," as she calls them.

"These books," she said, pointing to a rather large-ish stack of banded books, "need to go back into the Guided Reading Library. Would you do that for me? If so, I need you to find some more..."

First of all, I love books. Secondly, I like to hold books. Thirdly, I like to peruse through various books. Fourth, I like to find books. Fifth, I like to read books... Wait! Did I mention I love books?

Anyway, I gladly staggered into the library under the weight of the books. Upon first inspection, everything seemed pretty tidy. Fiction on one side, in order by level (difficulty level, that is). Nonfiction was on the other side, also in order by level. And that's where it stopped.

I looked at the first bin in the first section. I expected a book with an "A" title, but Junie B. Jones was there, sticking her tongue out at me. I stood there a moment, stunned.

Perhaps Junie is just out of place, I thought. I started rifling through the books to fix Junie. The next book started with an "M." The next, "R." The next, "C." I began to panic. I flipped through faster. Not a single book was in its rightful and proper place!

Thank goodness someone thought to put chairs in there! I had to sit and collect myself a moment.

I felt like Atlas, the weight of the world resting upon my hands and shoulders! I faced a monumental decision.

Everyone knows that if you have more than three books, they should always be in alphabetical order! So there I sat, stunned and debating whether I should begin alphabetizing them. It's only five shelves, I reasoned. Each shelf is only 30 yards long, give or take a few yards.

I made one of the hardest decisions of my life. I found empty spaces for the books in their proper levels. I took a deep breath. I shoved the first set of books in a spot. I shuddered and hoped the next set of books would be easier. They weren't!

Needless to say, I did get the books put away, though not properly. That was more than five hours ago. Luckily, I've long since put it out of my mind. And I'm definitely NOT thinking about going back to fix it.