Please, Don't Make Me Angry...

I started this week off with a bang... I decided I needed an up close and personal view of High Point Regional Hospital's emergency room.

I actually started the morning off with my usual routine of shave, shower, dress and drive. What I didn't count on for my Monday morning, however, were the bonus chest pains I would feel on my way in to work. And, of course, my subsequent visit to the ER.

My wife told me they would probably rush me in quickly. I didn't believe her and figured I would end up waiting for a while to get in and get seen. After all, I had waited nearly an hour to have them surgically re-attach the left hand index finger that my food processor tried to eat off more than a year ago!

Like she said, they got me in quickly, laid me down and hooked me up to some machine. Thoughts of the old Hulk series (you know, with Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno!) flashed through my mind. Then they asked me a barrage of questions and pulled out a silver, metal spike. Virtual medicine, Matrix-style! Sadly, no. It was just the thermometer.

They got me into a room and hooked me up to more machines. Someone came and shot my chest with a portable x-ray device. Wires were attached to my finger and chest and the start of an IV hung out of my left arm. On top of all that, my hospital gown kept falling off and I couldn't bend either arm to pull it back up.

Throughout the entire ordeal, my awesome wife remained by my side. She patiently waited, listening to everything the nurses, technicians and doctors had to say. I feel certain that she, like myself, was waiting intently to find out if I was suffering from stress, anxiety, psychosis or heart-related illness.

Oddly, the ER doctor never indicated which was the problem. Instead, she deffered me to my regular doctor, who I will be seeing first thing in the morning.

One last interesting note is that since I got out, no one has yet made me mad enough to cause my shirt to rip, my muscles to bulge and my skin to turn green. Needless to say, I have no definitive answer on that count. I may have to ask about that one...