Dinner Planning Made Easy

When I was younger, weekends were all about fishing, partying, eating and doing wild and crazy things! Now that I'm older, my weekends have turned into planning, laundry, cleaning and grocery store runs.

I like to think of myself as a professional grocery store shopper. I plan out my weekly meals (with my wife's help, of course!). As you can see from the diagram below, a lot of thought goes into the creation of a weekly menu at my house.

A glimpse into the insanity of genius, or something like that!

I diligently go through my kitchen as I make my grocery list to make sure I don't purchase anything I don't already have.

Like rice. One week, following my grocery run, I discovered I had three bags of rice! And I had just purchased another bag! Seriously, four 2 pound bags of rice might be just a little over the top. But I digress...

I list. I count. I mark. I strike through some items. I make notes on other items. I would take a picture of a typical grocery list, but viewings of my lists have cause textual blindness in the viewers. Don't ask. It's not pretty.

Regardless, I've been known to rewrite one list as many as four times. Even then, something always seems to get left off or forgotten.

I must admit that if grocery shopping was an Olympic sport, I probably wouldn't even qualify.

I still don't organize my shopping by sales, stores and coupons. My wife won't let me. She says five hours is too long for a single grocery run. Pure silliness!

Move Over, Martha!

I maxed out my recipe binder. I think I've created, and perfected, each of the recipes that I lovingly collected and three-hole punched for that binder. I reached the pinnacle of my culinary prowess... Until I met Martha.

She came in my house through the front door. Her blonde hair was coiffed perfectly. Her ever-present, inviting smile a permanent fixture upon her visage. And she was lying in a smallish, plastic tub. All 12 of her!

Ginga, as my mom-in-law is affectionately known, finally relinquished a full years worth of Martha Stewart's Everyday Food magazine, bequeathing them to me. Each one of these mini-magazines is chocked full of the most tantalizingly delectable, culinary delights this chef has ever seen!

Needless to say, I'm starting all over again on a new cookbook. Due to the magazine's small size, I've found dual half-page page protectors to house these recipes. Score!

Now I'll have to scour the house to find an appropriate binder with which to contain my new treasure trove of recipes. In case you can't tell, I launched into the magazines immediately upon their arrival.

I have not yet told my wife and son that the menu of meals for this week has changed drastically. My gluten free chicken fried rice may become gluten free pork fried rice instead.

While I refuse to defile the sanctity that is hot dog night, oven-baked taco night has now become skirt steak with pan-fried polenta. Steaks have skirts? And just what the heck is a polenta? Yoo-hoo! Oh, Google!

Regardless, I've discovered around 50 new recipes to try out on my unsuspecting family. And that's just from three magazines! Nine more to go! My family has no idea just how lucky they really are!

Needless to say, I have a new, growing stack of recipes that require my attentiveness and mad chef skills. As they say, practice makes perfect!

Move over, Martha. There's a new chef in town!

Good Gravy! What Is That?

I have donned the denim 'Goddess' apron once again to attempt the seemingly impossible. I have, once more, tried my hand at making gravy.

There have been several attempts in the past to make home made gravy. The first attempt was... Well, let's just say it was a first attempt.

I was single at the time. Apparently, I felt pretty brave since the only thing I had cooked previously was chocolate brownies from a mix. Those brownies somehow ended up just a little on the salty side.

Regardless, I got everything I needed for my gravy. If memory serves me correctly, I used butter, oil of some kind, some kind of flour, salt, cream of tartar and some milk. According to Google, this is pretty close to the list of ingredients one would use to make home made play dough.

Needless to say, that gravy went out the back door. As a matter of fact, I think it was still there, months later, when I moved out of that condo.

Anyway, since I got married, I've tried my hand at gravy one other time. I mixed. I stirred. I slaved. I sipped (my beer, of course!). I watched my heat. I continued stirring. My wife went easy on me and said it was a little "pasty." The dog, however, didn't and turned up his nose and walked away. 

And tonight's gravy? I'll let the picture tell the story for me...


May not be pretty, but it was easy on the palette.



While it could have used a bit more salt and pepper,

this is all that was left after dinner. Finally! Edible gravy!

My next cooking challenge? I may try creating my own barbecue sauce again. Maybe a good, gluten-free bread. 

Really, though, I've always wanted to brew my own beer!

Victimization? Or Simply a Case of Bad Timing?

Two things that simply should never take place at the same time are as follows: start a new healthy diet plan and take up cooking to relieve yourself from the boredom of not having a job.

I've recently started back on my Sugar Busters diet plan, which is kind of a modified Atkins Diet. The plan is to cut out as much sugar from your diet as possible. That includes cutting out those things that break down as sugar in your system like starches and breads.

I've also recently started donning my denim Goddess apron, diving into the kitchen and creating some serious culinary delights. This, it seems, combats the lack of excitement in my day that would normally be created by having a full time job. Unfortunately, I seem to be lacking in that area.

Now it seems the two have collided into the cooking diva's disastrous diet plan. I'm definitely eating better, but I'm eating more of it. Honestly, a lot more! On top of that, I've discovered Southern Living's Comfort Foods Cookbook. Now my goal is to start at the beginning and make every single dish in the book.

My chicken tetrazzini came out splendiferous. The meatloaf gonzales and buttermilk mashed potatoes I made tonight set my taste buds atingle! For Christmas I made the hashbrown casserole and macaroni and cheese... Mmmm, heavenly! I always start with good intentions, but I never follow through correctly and embellish each of the recipes to suit myself and my family. So far, I have received no complaints.

And the diet? I lost five bad pounds and gained ten healthy pounds. I'm hoping the healthy pounds will outweigh (no pun intended) the bad pounds and mold me into an image of glowing health. I'm haven't gotten there yet, but I will post another picture of me when I do.

In the meantime, perhaps, I should put leashes on my two fuzzy black dogs. A little bit of walking might just do me some good.