Gluten Free Fiesta Lasagna. Ole!

I have a very funny wife. She tells me that she's not creative or handy in the kitchen. Yet, she came up with a new recipe off the top of her head just last night. Guess what? It was delicious!

Normally, the person who creates the meal gets the credit. Take, for example, Phillip's Fabulous Gluten Free (GF) Crackers or Phillip's Famous GF Faked Ziti. Both delicious, if I do say so myself.

Anyway, my wife didn't want credit or her name used in this blog, so I'm simply calling it GF Fiesta Lasagna. Ole!

Now, the true food connoisseurs out there are going to want to test this amazing new recipe for themselves. You are in luck since I penned the recipe to paper, more or less. Here are the ingredients:

1lb ground beef

Can of black beans

Can of whole corn

Half cup of salsa (or more, or less... I forgot to measure it!)

Pretty good amount of cheddar and colby jack cheeses, shredded and mixed

GF taco seasoning (I make my own using garlic, cumin, chili powder, and paprika -- amounts unknown! I forgot to measure!)

GF corn tortillas

Can (bigger) of crushed tomatoes

1 beer (wine or ale, if you prefer. This is strictly for the cook's consumption!)

Brown your meat. Add a little water (just a little!) and taco seasonings. Cook. Drain and rinse black beans. Add to mixture. Drain corn. Add to mixture. Add salsa. Add tomatoes. Cook some on stove top set somewhere safely between Off and Hi.

Don't forget (like I did!) to preheat the oven. More than 300, but less than 400 degrees. Perhaps I set mine for 375? I think?

Start with meat sauce and layer, placing tortillas on next. Then sauce, cheese, tortillas, sauce and end with the cheese. It's not Southern without the cheese on top!

Then just cook it for a while. Mine warmed as the oven preheated, but I think it was in for a total of 35 minutes. If you subtract the 10 minutes I'm guessing it takes my oven to preheat, I guess it cooked for 25 minutes? Maybe?

Anyway, if you want a vegetarian version of this, try going to my friend's cooking blog, www.cookingwithcrago.blogspot.com. She's a real chef who measures ingredients and knows how to use ovens and stove tops! Go figure!

Happy eating!

Teacher's Guide to the New Year

The new academic year is nearly upon us. New students, old students, books, pencils, classrooms, and grades will all be in full swing in a little more than a week.

An exciting time for parents looking for a little quiet time in their day, but a busy time for teachers. And teacher assistants, too, of course. Really.

Three days into school, this pile of pencils will be missing!

I've created a helpful guide for new teachers, as well as refresher notes for experienced teachers who have foolishly donned their rose colored glasses.

Here are the significant details in a nutshell.

There will be a lot of kids. They will be all sorts of ethnicities. This is okay, as long as they're human. A few may argue with you over that fact, but that, in fact, is normal.

Out of these kids, a handful will be male. The rest will be female. If you're lucky, the numbers of male to female will be even. If not, that's cool too.

Some of the males will cause trouble, as will some of the females. Don't worry too much about who they are. They'll let you know in their own special way just as soon as they are able.

Hopefully, they'll all be wearing clothes. Discourage the discarding of clothes throughout the day. If you don't teach, don't laugh. It's a thing!

Now each one of these unique little beings is different and each one has his or her own name. Confusing, but this, also, is a good thing. Otherwise, the rest of the year will become even more confusing.

The first day can be summed up in one simple word -- chaos. Here's the short answer why...

Take all the ingredients above, mix them together in a single room known as Miss Whoever's room. Add in a peanut allergy. Don't add Johnny next to Junie because he's gross and makes her throw up. Mix Jerry near the board since he can't see. Don't mix Junior near the computer because he has no self-control. And no matter where you mix Jarrell, he'll still lay on his desk bubbling and burbling, pretending to be a fish!

This, of course, is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. It can, and sometimes does, get worse.

Don't believe me? Just ask any teacher you know. They'll tell you.

Local University Flaunts Extraterrestrial Tech

I'm eight classes into graduate school. I'm four weeks into my Master's degree. That gives me approximately two years to go, right? The question begging to be answered is -- will I make it?

At this point, I'm simply not sure if I will or not. The technology may kill me first!

I had a rude awakening about three classes ago. Here's what happened in a nutshell.

Two women -- and I use that term loosely since they, as well as my classmates, all look like teenagers to this 47 year-old -- wheeled in what looked like a hibachi style, silver metal cooking table.

The table turned out to be a "laptop cart." They opened hidden doors to reveal a neat, precise row of wafer thin, silver squares. It looked scary. The squares, it turned out, were laptops.

I watched my classmates and tried to replicate them by walking to the station, unplugging one of the sinister looking, silver seeds, and placing it on my desk before me.

Man, those things were small! My first cell phone was bigger than those little laptops!

Regardless, I continued to imitate the women. As I did, I noticed the fruit emblazoned upon the device. Hmm... I opened it up. That began my first panic attack.

It took a moment, but I did find the 'on' button. Whew! My panic ebbed a bit. And then it came back in full force. Darn High Point University and its alien technology!

Where the *BLEEP* were all my buttons! The 'F' keys were missing! The number pad was gone! And, most importantly, my left and right click buttons simply were not there! In fact, there were NO clicky buttons!

The alien device's screen glowed, staring at me. It silently mocked me. I assessed the distance from my desk to the door and gauged how quickly I could run from the classroom.

As luck would have it, all these young women, as well as the professor, are incredibly nice. They're respectful to the elderly and have given me a crash course on operating the university's crazy technology.

That, of course, leads me to my next question... How do these women know how to operate this extraterrestrial tech?

High Point's Hidden Wonders

Every time I turn around, I discover something new, unusual, or unique about my home town of High Point. It seems you just have to keep your eyes open to see these things.

Some are pretty obvious, like the giant comma, masquerading as a round-a-bout. For those of us who live near it, the comma offers up a bit of fun as we watch the traffic navigate it. Scary, but quite entertaining!

Some are not as obvious, like the million square feet of business space in our downtown that's only used four to six months out of every year. Hmmm...

And of course we harbor the worlds largest chest of drawers here in High Point. I think we advertise that in our brochures about our fair city. I'm pretty sure we have brochures... I'll check into that one.

A little less known is the giant, unused mall that resides within the confines of our city. The idea "if you build it, they will come" apparently does not pertain to shopping malls.

Meanwhile, High Point University, which used to be not much larger than a postage stamp, has grown to immense proportions. Word through the High Point grapevine says that HPU may be converting that mall into something more useful.

Now I've discovered an alligator farm across the street from the little elementary school where I work! Will wonders never cease!

I walked across the street to get a better look at it this past Friday. I did not see a farm. Nor did I see any alligators. I did, however, spot a sign of hope!

NC Governor Surprises Fourth Grade Field Trip

"That was the governor that just walked over your heads," I told some of our fourth-graders during our Raleigh field trip yesterday. We were touring the Capitol Building as an important meeting finished up.

"Huh?" was one response. Another said, "what?" and one student said, "who?"

"The North Carolina Governor," I said. "You know, Pat McCrory! The guy the lady in the legislative building mentioned just a little earlier?"

I got even more puzzled looks from my fourth-graders. A brusque, but polite voice immediately behind me asked me to move myself and the children to one side.

I did as I was told. I straightened up. I turned around and stood face-to-face with the 74th Governor of North Carolina, Patrick Lloyd "Pat" McCrory.

This may be a good time to tell you about this funny quirk in my personality. I attribute it to my ADD. Basically, when something takes me totally by surprise, I have a tendency to blurt out something from the deep, dark recesses of my brain.

I shook his hand. I looked him in the eye (like a deer caught in headlights!). I even shared some words with Governor McCrory! Words of encouragement, I'm sure.

I puffed up with pride. I went on with the remainder of my field trip with a newfound swagger in my step and my chin held high. After all, I just shook hands with our state's governor!

It wasn't until we were all safely on the bus heading home when it hit me. For the life of me, I simply couldn't recall my words to the governor as I exuberantly shook his hand.

So, Pat, if you're reading this, feel free to leave a comment on Fuzzy, Black Dogs telling me what I said. I can't handle another sleepless night wondering!

The Case of the Missing Chocolate Cake

I go on mad baking binges sometimes. Every now and again, for some unknown reason, I just feel the need to create something. To bake something. Last night was one of those times, so I made a cake.

It wasn't just any cake. It was a gluten free chocolate cake made from a King Arthur brand cake mix.  (Yummy!). The chocolate icing was one of my own recipes, made from scratch and absolutely delicious!

I took two small pieces out of the cake last night -- one for me and one for my wife. Otherwise, it was a completely undisturbed, happy cake on the counter. Or so I thought.

I awoke this morning with one thing on my mind. Chocolate cake! We all know cake is the ultimate breakfast food and I don't feel the need to delve into the details on that one. It is obvious, right?

So I went through my usual morning routine and then made my way downstairs. As I came to the kitchen, the crime scene came into full view.

The cake was missing. In its place was a nearly empty cling wrap container. I put my sleuthing skills to the test and began making observations. The details, as I saw them, were that there were no dogs to be found and no broken glass, so the dogs didn't eat it. Another detail was that my son is 17, and, while possible, it's not really feasible that he could have eaten an entire chocolate cake in one evening. Right?

It is possible that a 17 year old can actually put something up. I've seen it happen. I checked the refrigerator. I checked the microwave. I checked on top of the refrigerator. I checked the pantry. I checked the refrigerator again. Then I checked the 17 year old's room.

I woke him and kindly interrogated him, using his sleepy state to my advantage. Another dead end!

Then I remembered my wife telling me she needed a snack for her classroom. Though I fixed popcorn for her little second-graders, the clues were all pointing to my wife! Gasp!

An entire chocolate cake for snack time? Second-graders? A healthy breakfast does not a healthy second grade snack make!

I got to school and texted her. While I have yet to hear from her, I fully intend to extract a confession from the guilty party when she gets home from school today.

Case closed. I think.

Lawn Mower Comes Down with the Flu

I love this time of year! Warm weather. Shorts and flip-flops. Pools opening. Leaves finally returning to the trees. Flowers blooming. Grass growing...

Well, you can nix that last one for one simple reason -- lawn mowing season! Anyone that knows me knows that I am not a yard maintenance kind of guy.

"I hope your mower works," my wife said helpfully as I went to break out my lawn mower for the season.  "You know, you never got it winterized. And I don't know if you ever covered it properly for the winter."

The ailing, evil grass cutting machine.

I love my wife, but she says the silliest things! I walked with confidence to where I stored my lawn mower for the winter. Somehow, the cover had come off the self-induced torture device.

I pulled it out anyway. I brushed it off. I checked the oil. Check. I eyeballed the gas tank. Hmm. I topped it off. Check. Concluding my mechanical knowledge, I cranked it on up. Perfect.

And then it cut off. Hmm. Maybe I should have winterized it. I jiggled it to mix the old gas with the new gas. I cranked it up. Perfect. And then it cut off again!

I told my wife I was heading to the gas station to get some orange juice for the mower. "It has the flu, honey," I said, explaining that I was really getting fresh gas.

"Check the filter before you do anything else," she replied. There she goes acting like she knows machines again! Silly!

I decided to humor her and checked the filter. It was a little gummed up. Only a little, though. I cleaned it out and started the infernal machine.

Strange. It actually ran a little better. I managed to mow a majority of the yard with it cutting off in three to five minute intervals.

I managed to cut the grass, as well as the cursing and curses to a minimum as the mower's brief running intervals hummed happily longer. And then, it reached the end of its rope, so to speak.

I was planning to get a white candle to light on the mower while I perform a healing dance. My wife, however, suggested a lawn mower mechanic.

She's been lucky so far. I may just follow her advice.